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  • Writer's pictureToni

Triggers Here, Triggers There, Triggers Everywhere

Most of the time the thing annoying me has absolutely nothing to do with me, I’m just a passer by watching and listening, but it gets me. It sucks me in and pisses me off!


It’s pretty constant just now, whether it be seeing something on social media, reading a text message or walking round the supermarket. I am being aggravated by people. Why is everyone annoying me? Why am I letting things annoy me? Why, why, why?


I learned a while back that normally when someone or something triggers us it’s because we are being shown something about ourselves that we don’t like or that we need to work on. At first this was hard to take in. The thing I don’t like about someone is actually something that I don’t like about myself ? Hmm…


But, it’s true. Every time someone triggers me now, no matter what it is they do, I take a step back and think “Okay, why is this annoying me? What is this showing me about myself?” and it works (most of the time, I’ll come back to this). It took me a while in the beginning, but usually I can find the issue. It shows me something that I need to work on and release from within. That person annoying me because they are sitting bitching about a friend to their other friends, yip, I’ve been that girl. I used to do it all the time, so of course that’s going to trigger me. It’s showing me that I haven’t forgiven myself for doing that in the past. I haven’t let go of the shame and guilt that I am carrying because of it.


Once I can see what the trigger is showing me I need to go and sort it, or at least try! It’s hard, shadow work, clearing old parts of self that you don’t really want to face. We’ve all been there, well most of us, acted a certain way, put on a persona for certain people, done things that we regret. Why would we want to think back to those times? We want to avoid those feelings, not face them. Wrong! In order to be your best self you have to face everything. You can’t pick and choose. Well you could try to, but that won’t work, the Universe will just keep throwing triggers your way until you face them all. Face those feelings. When you’re triggered ask yourself what comes up, it’s not about the person triggering you, it’s about you. Once you know the feelings, the memories, etc. face them! Speak to someone about it or go and scribble it down. Just let it out of your head. Those pent up emotions need to be released.


When you do this you actually start to handle situations a whole lot better. I definitely don’t react as much now as I used too. Ask my husband, I couldn’t even tell you the last time I lost my shit with him about something and I’m pretty sure that used to be a regular thing. I don’t react in the moment anymore because I take that little step back to have a word with myself first. I’m not saying I don’t react at all, I just take the time to process the situation and then choose how I want to react instead of acting on impulse. In turn, this means there is a lot less confrontation in my life and a lot more happier times! I have a rule for myself; if something causes me to want to react I sit with it for at least 12 hours, sometimes 24. If I still feel the same after that time then I react the way I first wanted too, if not I know it would have been the wrong reaction and can now react accordingly and much more calmly.


Some triggers are of course based on past experiences and traumatic events. This is completely different. It’s not just someone doing something to annoy you. These triggers are showing up to help you release the pain and hurt. They need lots more attention and lots more love. Speak to a professional and get the support you deserve!


Now, back to my little point earlier… Not all triggers are showing you something about yourself. Sometimes people are just being assholes! It has taken me a while to come to this conclusion because I would sit with certain triggers for ages and just not get it. The same people would piss me off over and over again and I just couldn’t see what it was I was being shown about myself. Then I realised I wasn’t being shown anything about myself, I was being shown that they are just not on my vibration and they are no good for me. At that point, I take a step back from them. I can’t be around them as much or can’t have them in my life. Maybe we will be on the same vibration again at some point, but maybe we won’t, we just have to wait and see. It’s not our job to change people. They are on their own journey and perhaps being an ass is a huge part of that. You’ve just got to leave them to it until they realise and work on their own shit!


Look at your triggers. Look at who and what pisses you off. Look back at yourself. Is there something that needs your attention within?


xox


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