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  • Writer's pictureToni

You've Got More Than A Friend In Me

I’m not that friend who will sit and pander to your problems. I’m not that friend who will play in to your negativity. I’m not that friend who will help you feel more like a victim…

I’m the friend who will sit and listen to you. I’ll be watching the way you act as you speak about your situation; your body language, the way your voice changes, the emotion behind your eyes. I won’t judge you. I won’t dictate what I think you should do. But, I will be honest with you.

Some don’t like it, because it’s like they are being called out on their shit. Others really appreciate it, as it allows them to see the situation from a different perspective and move forward. Sometimes with certain friends I try not to do it. I try to just listen and say “I hope you’re okay”. When I do that I’m not just failing them, I’m failing myself too. I’m not being authentic. I’m not being me, because I'm scared of how they might react. This isn’t okay and do you know what, they probably won’t be okay. They will continue to feel the way they feel as different situations come into their lives. No one is telling them the truth. No one is helping them see there is another way to look at things.

Now I may be honest, tell them what I think of the situation and they might think what I say is a lot of crap. But that’s okay! At least I voiced it. At least I tried to help them see things differently. If they continue in this negative mindset, I can’t fix that. They have to want to change to a more positive one. Once they are ready to leave the bullshit behind they will start to see things more positively. I’ve been there! I was so stuck in that “Bad things always happen to me, nothing ever goes right” way of thinking. Well of course bad things always happened, of course nothing ever went right because all I used to do was put they thoughts into existence.

Manifestation doesn’t just happen with wealth, happiness and love. No, no, no. You can be attracting all the negative things that are happening in your life too! If you truly believe that you don’t deserve good things, that something bad always happens, etc. then the chances are that’s what will come your way. Why would you not want to be more positive? Those who know me, especially the ones close to me, know that I’m not all love and light. I’m not Little Miss Positive Pants all day, every day. I’m the complete opposite most of the time. However, I check myself! As soon as that negative thought or doubt creeps in that I’m not good enough or that I don’t deserve good things, I make them stop. I reason with them. I reason with myself. And if I can’t shake them, if I can’t see things from a different angle, I go and speak to one of my friends who are just like me. The ones that will call me out on my bullshit! They too sit back and listen, they take in all of what I say and then they give me their way view of the situation. They tell me what I couldn’t tell myself, even though deep down I knew it. They friends hold space for me and allow me to release and move forward.

If I didn’t have friends like that around me I wouldn’t have the mindset that I have today. I’d be stuck in victim mode 24/7. I would blame other people, the world, God, the Universe, absolutely anyone other than myself for what is happening in my life and for how I am feeling. I don’t want to be that way. I want to acknowledge things for what they are. I want to understand why things have happened, if I can. I want to accept that things have been shit, but also learn the lesson that they are trying to teach me. Most importantly, I want to forgive myself and the situation and continue to enjoy my life.

Tell me, why would you not want a friend like that in your life?


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